girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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