Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When are your genitals available?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
