it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
