He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
