He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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