I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
