I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
