the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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