Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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