i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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