Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I want you more than these girls want KFC
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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