2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
