is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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