i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I AM VODKA MAN
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My bed smells like the plague
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
