Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
