i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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