Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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