I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
