I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
