I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
