Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
