I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
