Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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