billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
