thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
