why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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