ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
