got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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