summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
