just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
