it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
