I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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