Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
