well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
