I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
