I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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