hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
