Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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