Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your cock deserves a montage
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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