you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
