We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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