One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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