so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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