then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
