We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
