Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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