So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
