i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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