hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
