she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
