Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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